Monday, December 13, 2010

Give it up: Worry

Why do I have so much trouble just letting go? I think it's safe to say that many of you struggle with this too. Let's get personal now and let me just share with you exactly what I'm talking about....

C and I will be moving to Wichita Falls, TX for 3 months in January and while I will begin graduate school classes I am unemployed! The idea of not contributing to our family budget or even just being able to do something with the day that affects the greater community is killing me! I've job searched and job searched as much as I can from here and nothing, zero, zilch, nada!

Now, I know that if I look to the truth to find the answers, the Bible says, "Do not be anxious in anything, but in everything by prayer and petition make your requests known to God." (Philippians 4:6)
"Do not be anxious about your lif, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, they neither sow or reap and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not more valuable then they? And which if you being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?" (Matthew 6: 25-27)
"Cast all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7) 

So why do I continue to worry? Why do I spend hours a day searching websites and worry my little life away about how we will pay for things? And what I will do with my days in Texas?
Sometimes it feels like a vicious whirlwind that I get trapped in and believe that if I stop I will somehow be giving up. But I think God wants me to "give up". He wants me to say "It's all you God". And while I am learning to give it up to Him and let Him provide for me, I need to pray in humility and honesty that my heart aches for something more. Please Lord give me rest in you and be patient with me while I learn to really trust you.

So in an attempt to make a change, I'm going to put my computer away for the day and get up and praise God for what He's blessed me with right now, and let Him take care of tomorrow (January-April in Texas).

And I'll let this picture remind me of the adventures He's brought me through when I never thought it would happen.
Finishing my 40-page senior thesis.
Presenting the thesis in front of the board.
Moving out of my house in Fredericksburg.
Surviving a long-distance relationship and getting engaged!
The summer at the Naval Academy.
Folding over 200 paper airplanes.
Getting the alterations right on that dream dress!

And marrying this man, knowing my life would be better with him than without him!*PRAISE THE LORD*    

1 comment:

  1. Hey baby! Just wanted to say it's so nice to come here and be able to check in on you--what you've been up to and what's on your mind. You are definitely not alone in the worry category. I've found myself desperately wanting college to end already, but I recognize I'll probably have a hard time transitioning out of college mode kind of like you have. So, I decided I'm going to try to savor it instead (despite how much I dislike the whole academic side of it). I've been praying for you, that you can savor this time in your life as well--yes, even a time of transition (which are usually the most stressful and scary of times). I'm sure those women in Texas will take you in with open arms, so please look forward to that!