Wednesday, January 12, 2011

I'm Not in Kansas Anymore

Today I had the strangest and most uncomfortable feeling since we got married, it was an out of body nightmare happening right in the middle of the "sausage-factory" of a gym here on base. One of C's friends from class started talking to him, I smiled and said a polite "Hello", he smiled and their conversation continued. Before I could even try to join in I felt myself drifting out of the room. "What were they talking about?" "Why can't I understand a word they are saying, sounds like they are talking in code."

For the first time in our marriage I felt like I had no idea who this man was or what he did for a living. Now I actually do know what he does at work, but in that moment everything felt so foreign. Abbreviations were flying and I just couldn't keep up, then another joined in on the conversation and I felt like such an outsider. Here I was trying to muster up the confidence to even be working out in "that side of the gym". You know what I'm talking about, the side of the gym with the weights were there is grunting and macho men bumping fists like some kind of club. The "that side of the gym" at an Air Force Base is 10 times worse than any other gym because there are so many more of those macho men grunting and bumping fists.

I waited for C to finish the conversation and felt like I was in a foreign land. A land of muscle-building-airplane-loving-abbreviation-talking men and I just didn't belong. I knew that there would be a time when we would both have things happen at work and not necessarily be able to share the experience with other, or that I wouldn't be able to relate as well as the other guys going through the experience with him. But I had no idea it would make me feel so insignificant.

While cooking dinner when we got back I kept replaying the "seemingly tragic" situation that happened today and tried to find God in it. I want to be able to encourage C and show him my appreciation for the work that he does, but how can I when I feel so clueless? I was reminded of Erin Gruwell and how clueless she must have felt trying to relate to the toughest of students. Erin never turned away, instead she put them in the spotlight and let their passions teach her how to related to them.

I need to accept that the Air Force is a world that I may not understand fully but should embrace it in every way that I can. Weather it is playing "Betty Homemaker" and making cookies for his classmates, or just listening to C talk about his day asking as many questions as I can.

Thank you God for this lesson tonight, and look how relevant to my first SSMT(siesta scripture memory team verse)! HOW COOL IS THAT?!

"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession that you may declare the praises of him who called  you out of darkness into his wonderful light." 1 Peter 2:9

(p.s. I did that by memory! How are you doing on your scripture memory challenge? Remember, we'll be changing verses on the 15th)

1 comment:

  1. i'm trying this from memory:

    Let mercy and truth never leave you, bind them around your neck and write them in the tablet of your heart that you may find favor with God and Man

    well close enough ;)

    "Let not mercy and truth forsake you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart, and so find favor and high esteem in the sight of God and man." -Proverbs 3:3-4

    Sorry the day got off to a discouraging start but glad that you're learning lessons and taking names. You would have much more confidence in your workout abilities if you'd seen me and Dina doing "P90x". ha! it was NOT pretty-- but tons of fun.

    miss you here but glad you're there